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Its ya girl Colleen answering our very first peer question. Our question this week is one I’m sure many of us (if not all) have been through at least once in our lives:
Check out the original FB post here.
This is tough. It can be really intimidating to tell someone you like them, especially if they’re your best friend. Before we dive into my advice, let’s listen to what the community has to say to get a better perspective.
The bottom line is telling your friend is a risk. It could pan out the way you want, or it could not, and you should release all expectations of things you can’t control. That includes them not reciprocating the feelings or even having the friendship be a little awkward.
The truth is, you never know until you ask. Sometimes people’s answers will surprise you. And it’s certainly not unheard of to have friends, even friends previously identified as straight, realize they have romantic feelings towards each other (Hello, Tig and Stephanie).
While I agree with this reader that silently pining will damage the relationship, I actually disagree with the rest. Just because someone feels uncomfortable in the relationship and decides to put things on pause doesn’t make them a bad friend or ally. People can’t help the way they feel, and we should always be respectful if someone learns new information about a friend or relationship and needs to take a step back.
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My advice is honesty is the best policy – even when it doesn’t end in the outcome you’d like it to. If you end up needing some time apart, that might be helpful for you anyway so you have time to move on in a healthy way. And who knows, many times friendships go in cycles, meaning if you take some time apart, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll lose the friendship forever.
Either way, torturing yourself by holding your feelings in isn’t good for your mental health or for the friendship. Telling your friend might be a good idea just so you know if something will happen or if you should move on. You want to be with someone who loves and cherishes you; if that’s your friend, then great; if it’s not, then you’re one step closer to finding that right person.
What do you guys think? Do you agree with the readers’ advice? Do you agree with mine? Write in to tell us how we’re doing, feel free to also post your response here on our FB page.
As always, much love to our community and our friends.
Today’s email was written to you by: Colleen Glennon – Colleen is a lesbian writer who has written for Screen Rant, Downtown LA Weekly, Hills Views and Valleys Magazine, and more. When she’s not at home writing, you’ll find her walking her tortoise around Los Angeles.
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