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It’s Colleen again, coming at you with another peer question. This week our question is:
This is such a tough one! Especially because as women interested in other women, it can be hard to figure out how to best approach each other when we want to get to know people.
Let’s check out some advice from other women in the group. One insightful lady says this:
I SO agree with this reader. I think we should do away with weird patriarchal-esque stereotypes and let whoever wants to make the first move. Of course, if you enjoy those roles, then that’s great! But if you’re struggling because you don’t fit into society’s expectations, don’t worry about them. Mix and match with what works for you: if you’re more masculine but still want a woman to make the first move, let them. There are so many women out there, you’ll find an outgoing feminine lady out there soon.
Another reader says this:
Taking it slow is always a great way to go, too. I think it can be easier because then you can test the waters and ease into the romance aspect. But, I will say, if you flirt/ask people out in a respectful way, that doesn’t make you a creep or perve.
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My advice? Confidence comes with practice. So, practice your introduction. Practice in the mirror, practice in the car, practice to your dog, cat, fish, or hermit crab. Basically, practice so much that when you get in the moment where you see a cute lady and you want to ask her out, you don’t freeze up.
But Colleen, what do I even say?? you may ask. Try something like this: “Hi, I hope you don’t mind me saying so, but I think you’re really cute, and if you’re interested, I’d love to take you out on a date sometime.”
Okay, maybe that’s easier said than done, but the good news is that even if you stumble and are visibly nervous, most women will find that incredibly endearing.
As far as being too oblivious to notice when someone’s flirting with you, all I can say is same, girl. In fact, I’m so clueless that I didn’t realize I was on a first date with my now-girlfriend until she planted a big kiss on me at the end of the night.
It sounds like you may just need to find a really forward lady, which there are more out there than you’d expect. Plus, there are always dating apps to help you out. Those are always nice because you typically go into those interactions knowing there’s a reciprocated baseline attraction.
That’s all for today. Like always, send in your questions for us to answer, and let us know what you think of our advice.
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