Picture this: you’re on a date with someone you believe is your soulmate. You want to be with her forever, and you can’t imagine living life without each other. So, you propose moving in together. The only problem? You’ve only known each other for a few weeks.
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If this has happened to you, you’re not alone. So many of us lesbians have fallen victim to this behavior that it has a name of its own: U-Haul Syndrome.
Why is this a problem? When you commit before the honeymoon phase is over, you don’t have a solid understanding of your relationship, how it functions, and what you both need in the relationship to feel fulfilled. If you move too fast, you also can barrel past warning flags that indicate that maybe you and your partner aren’t meant to last forever.
Here are some easy tips to avoiding U-Haul Syndrome in your next relationship.
Stay In The Present
When you’re in love (or falling in love), it’s way too easy to get swept away by your emotions. One minute you’re on a first date; the next, you’re planning out baby names.
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It’s important to take it one day at a time and not plan too much for the future. Who knows? Maybe this person will be your wife: or maybe this is just another learning relationship before you find “the one.” Either one is okay, but you must be open to see if this relationship is right before automatically assuming it by just a few dates.
Spend More Time With Your Friends
While it’s only natural to see less of your friends once you start dating, cutting your friends off too much can lead to tunnel-vision in your relationship.
Seeing your friends is critical not only so that you keep your identity, but your friends also provide valuable insight into whether they think this relationship is a good fit for you. When you cut those people off, you lose the necessary third-party perspective if there’s something you’re not seeing.
Stay Off Your Phone
When you and your partner are away from each other, try to keep texting and communicating to a minimum. Not only will this help keep the passion and romance alive since you’ll have time to miss each other, but you’ll also make sure that the space you get outside of the relationship is a break for outside of the relationship.
Hold Off On Meeting The Family
Look, it can be amazing to introduce each other to your family. But, that’s a big step that comes with a lot of emotional baggage. Ease off seeing each other’s family for at least a few months to make sure either of you isn’t moving too fast.
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