Breaking up is never easy. If you’re anything like me, the decision itself usually comes with weeks (if not months) of mental torment of going back and forth on if you should walk away or not.
Next is figuring out what to say and how to say it and what to do when they give you those sad, puppy eyes. Just thinking of your speech is enough for you to call the whole thing off and go running for the hills.
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So, how do you end a relationship while keeping yours and her dignity intact? Below are some suggestions on how to (gently) end a relationship.
1. Do It In Person
We’ve all been through those breakup nightmares of getting dumped via text, an Instagram comment, or a note in 5th grade Bio class. The moral of the story? As uncomfortable as it might be, this is a conversation that needs to happen face-to-face. Breaking up in person helps bring dignity to a situation, and it gives the person a chance to feel a semblance of closure instead of feeling like they’ve just been ghosted.
Of course, this does not apply if the relationship was emotionally or physically abusive. In those cases, it might be better to break up on the phone or, depending on the severity of the situation, simply walk away. (For more information on leaving an abusive relationship, check out these resources here).
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2. Know How To Say No
Most times, your girlfriend will try to negotiate with you to change your mind. But it takes two people for a relationship to work, and if you’re already set that this relationship isn’t right for you – for whatever reason – you need to enter the conversation firm on your stance and get ready to say the word ‘no’ a lot. Or at least some version of it.
3. Be The Bigger Lady
There are probably a lot of valid reasons why you want to end the relationship. It’s important not to get petty and throw something out there that isn’t constructive to the conversation. Talking about how you don’t like how she eats with her mouth open won’t make the situation any better.
Stick to the more mature, valid reasons (I need time to explore myself, I don’t like who I am in this relationship), instead of trivial arguments that won’t benefit you or her.
4. It’s Okay To Be Upset
Just because you’re the one initiating the breakup, you’re still allowed to be sad, upset, or angry that the relationship is over. Make sure you allow space for yourself to grieve and mourn the relationship. Know that you two will both be okay in the long run and that once you gain hindsight, there’s probably a lot you’ll be able to learn from this relationship.
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