More often than not, we lesbians have the gift of excellent communication. What can we say? We like to talk about our feelings. But even women sometimes can get tripped up with our communication skills when it comes to serious relationships.
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Becoming a better communicator improves not only your romantic relationships but your platonic and professional relationships as well. Below are some tips on how to strengthen your communication skills to improve the quality of your life.
Trust.
If your partner says nothing is bothering them or that they don’t want to talk about it, trust that they mean it. Taking your partner at their word takes the pressure off of you so that you don’t have to worry about reading subtle hints that may or may not be there. It also places more emphasis on you and your partner communicating your feelings rather than relying on reading each other’s minds.
Be Honest With What You Need.
Just like you can’t read your partner’s mind, your partner can’t read your mind. It’s so crucial to have those hard conversations about what you need in the relationship. Even if these conversations are uncomfortable, awkward, or lead to conflict at the moment, it’s so important that you’re honest with yourself and your partner about what you need in order to feel fulfilled and satisfied.
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Communicate When You’re Upset (Even When The Moment’s Gone).
In an ideal world, you would communicate when someone has hurt your feelings or crossed a boundary right when it happens. But life doesn’t always unfold that way. If you’re anything like me, you may convince yourself at the moment that what someone said isn’t a big deal or that you’re blowing it out of proportion. But if something is bothering you and you keep thinking about it for multiple days, you should bring it up to your partner so that the resentment doesn’t fester and impact your relationship down the road.
Don’t Go Into The Conversation With An Agenda.
So you and your girlfriend have gotten into a big fight, and you know exactly what she did wrong. Instead of entering the conversation from a defensive position, be open to hearing what she has to say. By being completely present, hearing what she has to say, and letting go of preconceived judgments, you’ll find that you and your partner have a much easier time navigating conflict.
Say Sorry.
Look, I hate to say it, but sometimes in life, you’re going to be in the wrong. Honestly, it probably happens more than you’d like to admit. But apologizing and owning your mistakes isn’t the end of the world. On the contrary, it usually indicates that you’re a confident person who is okay with making mistakes. Taking responsibility for errors you’ve made in the relationship goes a long way in helping deal with conflict effectively.
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