Hey, everyone!
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It’s peer advice time! This week, one reader wrote about her difficulty navigating a workplace romance…one where the crush is already in a relationship.
Let’s hear what she has to say:
🌈PEER ADVICE: I work with a woman who I know is a lesbian, she’s the reason I know I like women (you know when you just feel connected to someone and can’t get them out of your head?? Yeah). Anyway, she is in a relationship with a woman so I need advice on how to stop liking her? Because I’m really into her but I’m not a homewrecker. But she flirts with me at work so any advice would be really helpful 🥰
Yikes. That’s definitely a dicey situation. Especially since you two work together, you have to be really careful about how you handle the situation – the last thing you want to do is have the relationship interfere with your ability to perform your job.
Let’s check out what a couple of our readers have to say.
One reader says this : “My work motto IS and always WILL be ‘I don’t get my honey where I make my money.’ Just sayin….🤷🏻♀️”
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Regardless of whether she is actually flirting, this is excellent advice. Getting involved with coworkers is always an incredibly challenging line to walk. While it can be fun at first (and can make work more enjoyable), if anything happens in the relationship, it can make work uncomfortable and might even hinder your ability to do your job. I would always recommend people avoid workplace romances unless it’s a unique situation or if you don’t plan to be at that job long term.
Another reader says this: “My advice….leave her alone. If she’s that toxic in her current relationship, she will be with u as well.”
Every relationship has different standards and rules in terms of what behaviors the couple deem to be acceptable. Who knows; she and her partner may have discussed that flirting with other people outside of the relationship is okay. If she’s heavily flirting, it could be a sign that she’s in an open relationship, in which case, if all three parties are comfortable, that could be something you may want to explore.
My advice? If she’s not poly or open, then it’s time to set major boundaries. I would approach her with honesty: try saying something along the lines of “Hey, I want to respect your relationship, but it’s difficult for me to do that when you flirt with me. Could we talk about setting boundaries?”
It also might be a good idea to limit your interactions with her as best as possible. Shifting the focus to other women you have a crush on might be helpful, too. If she’s the only person in your life that you’re interested in, now may be a good time to crack open those dating apps.
We wish you the best of luck in navigating this precarious situation! If you have a question you want to ask the community, make sure to reach out on our Facebook page!
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